Hope in hoplesness

...as I travel my usual bus route back to downtown I look out  the window and notice something slightly different in the normally unchanged scenery. There is an apartment building, a run-down poverty crying two story unmaintained building It's gray stucco is has layers of city grime, and the blinds inside are yellowed with uncaredfor age and always pulled tightly shut. This afternoon though, there is a difference. In one of the upper apartment windows, the blind is pulled wide open and, spread out on the windowsill, are little pretty objects of decoration. In a building that has always screamed hopelessness, there is now a soft blossom of hope.


-have a cup of optimisim-

And on the grateful side of life...

...when I was getting off the bus yesterday, after obsessing for two hours about what would be the best supplies for the series of art I'm creating for a gift shop, I noticed an elderly man trying valiantly, but without success to get out of his seat. Finally a gentleman stepped up and helped the man to his feet who then hobbled his way off the bus, smiling in gratitude for the whole time.

Watching the  man made me  think of simple things taken for granted, like having two strong legs that can carry me easily wherever  I want to go, whether I'm car dodging as I Jaywalk across a busy road, or if, instead, I'm going for a long run down a quiet woodland trail. I  never think about these moments, never give the easy use of my legs a second thought. I just assume they will always be there, ready to quickly move me to whenever I need go.

It's just one of those everyday life things that is so easily taken for granted...

Some art done today

Curled comfortably in my armchair, lost in video game land I glanced up and saw...SUN! It's the west coast, coming up winter, so that weird bright thing called sun is now usually hidden by dark gray thing called clouds. So what is an artist to do when she spots sun...well set up her paint stuff and paint of course.

I don't normally use paint as a medim, but have started to delve into just for sheer self expression. I find it much more emotionally involving than my ink drawings. Unlike the ink drawings, painting is not based on precise  lines and fine ink, it just colors and brush strokes, and since you are loser the work you do gets much closer to expressing your true emotional state.

So below is the painting completed. I call it "storms". I titled it this for two reason. First, because I think it represents how stormy my life has been these last three years, but secondly, storms break and bring in better weather so there is also a positive notion to it. It wasn't done with anything fancy. Just $ store tempera watercolor paint and a 9X12 canson mixed media sketchbook. 

And my painting set up...aka, the dining room table set by the window...

Positive and pointless observations today...

...I have noticed something odd in my city...in random spots there are large painted circles declaring that "you are here." This would make sense if there was a map nearby....

....sometimes the most unlikely people can be the ones to support you, make you laugh, and cheer you on...

...There is never anything good on the news...I want to start my own news station that talks only of happy events....wait, is there any?

....shoould I be worried that I'm nearing 30 and *now* I decide to start playing kids video games....

.....is  it really so wrong to have very little and be happy anyway? Do I really need money, career, and pointless possessions to be happy? I'm broke and I'm content. You're rich, and you're not. Which one of us is in the worse position?....

Is it morning?...

The night Before...

Go to starbucks. Drink coffee while trying writing out feelings caused by the surprise visit from the out of town big sister....

...Decide I like how peaceful starbucks is at night and so get a refill of coffee and read....

.....Then wonder why I can't sleep...

....Try to sleep. Fail. Get up. Play a corny BRATZ ps2 game that I bought simply because it *was* stupid and corny....

...Try to sleep again. Fail agian...

...Flip on the computer. Work on this blog. Start to surf other blogs...

...Try to sleep....

....Bratz game goes back on....

...Nachos are eaten with the Gudda cheese that came in the gift bag given by the big sister...

...Pet screams for water. Is given water. Then petted, played with....

...Begin to think I should do something productive with not sleeeping...instead BRATZ game goes back on....

...Decide I don't like the other games that game with the PS2 the brother gave me so gather them up to trade in at the store on quadra....first check online to see how much the games are worth....find out the collectors final fantasy XII it *$184* on amazon...put that one back with no thoughts of trading  it in....

....Try to sleep again...the pet decided she liked the attention and wants more...an excuse to get up and not sleep...

....finally, sleep... just in time for the alarm to go off.....

....Head to Starbucks and start the cycle over again....

Momma Puddlemuck...

This is an ink drawing done at Beacon Hill Park today as I was watching the ducks playing in the pond. It is a very abstract interpretation of the ducks. Who ever said realism had to be real? :P

This drawing is 9X12. It will be finished using colored ink and pencil. It is part of a styelization of drawings I have been doing with the intention of selling them as art for children or adults who like colorful happy art.

And on the Grateful side of life....

It's nearing  12am. I have been exhuasted and not myself all day. The kitchen  is, again, a mess (how can *1* person make such a mess?...and *how* did I get pasta sauce on the *ceiling*...especially when I didn't cook  pasta....) My apartment is not perfect, and I am a perfectionist, so this bothers me. I hate the two purple two purple end tables that I just can't get rid of (And i've been trying for years) and I don't like that there is only one window source, and also that I can't fit a proper bed into the apartment, and...

...And then I remember the grateful side of life...

Here I sit in an apartment that is warm  because the heat works (There are many slumlord buildings in the city where it *doesn't*) and as I do I type on a new laptop computer that I should not be able to afford (what exactly they were thinking letting  me put in on payments I don't know....didn't they look at my income?) I manage to survive off of hopes, dreams, and PT shifts at a community center job which allows me to come in late, wear jeans, work alone, and spend a good amount of my shift zoning out and drawing. (and yes, I complain about this job as much as I complain about the purple end tables...)

I currently write this on a neat Oak Alice in Wonderland type dining table set that has chairs who's backs are curved into a neat rounded shapes with hearts cut into the middle of them, of which I got a steal for at a garage sale. The whole set for $25. In a store this would be $100's. I also have a great brass handled dresser and a $300 armchair the manager let me have for free from the building's storage room because  it was left behind by old tenants. The manager himself is now one who truely cares about the building and is taking the effort to clean it up and look after it. Each month undesirable tenants go out and only good ones are come in. It's come a long way since he took over in June.

In this apartment, since new managment, I am also allowed to paint my walls (which is a good things since I slammed blue acrylic handprints on them  in a moment of creative frustration before I was allowed too...) and this painting of walls in a rental agency run place is nearly unheard of. And although I may only have one source of light, that one source is a full floor to ceiling patio door that leads to a competely private, enclosed on both sides brick balcony that is currently covered in flowers. And the light I do is get is full sun for almost five hours in the afternoon.

And, most importantly, I am allowed to share this apartment with a demanding and way to smart for her own good guinea pig (also not an easy thing to find in a rental agency run place in this city)

So yes, the kitchen does need to be cleaned, and yes I do still have those purple end tables I hate...well, I think I can live with it...oh, and the pet is demanding water so I must run to her summoning....

Have a cup of optimism
-sarah-Anne-

What are you grateful for today?